✳️ In your experience, when does planning feel freeing? When does it cross the line and become limiting?
✳️ Have you ever used spiral-bound planners/bullet journals, and what’s your relationship to them now? I used a Get To Work Book (RIP!) for years, on and (mostly) off, but wasn’t motivated enough to use, like, washi tape or adorable stickers in it.
✳️ Brownie points for Nathan For You fans who share their favorite episode. (Mine is, obviously, the smoke detector one.)
I am definitely part of the Overplanner Industrial Complex.
I embody the paradox - I am always planning, which is futile because nothing ever goes to plan. (I think this is the definition of insanity.) What works for me is to make plans, but revisit them frequently. This way, I can make adjustments as necessary. I treat my plans as outlines of where I want to go rather than detailed blueprints. That seems to work. Although my default is to plan to a T.
Outlines rather than blueprints—yes! I adore this idea.
Your “definition of insanity” comment did make me laugh, but in your defense: the act of revisiting your plans frequently is, in effect, keeping the timeline of your plans short enough for them to be meaningful. Consider your approach fully endorsed! ✅
"It’s a tactic best deployed under specific conditions. It shouldn’t be a mindset, a lifestyle, or a personality trait." Yes!
I like loose planning which leaves room for me to change my mind and for life to life. Things happen out of our control, things feel differently than we anticipated, people die, relationships change or break off completely. We change. I've found people who get too attached to plans have a much harder time with life and living.
Loose planning gives me a bit of security AND the room for other possibilities to enter. I've never been into stringent planning. Not in life, work and especially not whilst I'm on holiday.
There are times when definitive plans are important like getting married with my partner, where I want to go in my career, etc. I think intention is more important to me than having a "plan". I ask myself, "What are my intentions going down this road, making this particular choice?" My answers to that question gets me VERY clear on what I want and where I will go from there.
I love your use of intentions and introspection when it comes to the kinds of all-important, values-aligned decisions you don’t want to leave entirely to chance.
After spending too many years in the “attachment to plans” camp, I learned exactly what you wrote here: it’s kind of miserable. It’s kind of like your Past Self making decisions for your Present Self without crucial pieces of information. “Loose planning” allows for the introduction of all kinds of new information...such a humane approach!
I like to look ahead, but not plan too far ahead. Have an idea of what to do, but stay flexible. I warn friends when we travel together that I'm not someone who enjoys a "schedule" on my vacations (sure, we'll need to book a few things, but not all day every day, FFS!). And my to-do list is about as bullet-pointy as I get. But, I follow my schedule, keep my appointments and I'm on time, so I'm totally annoyed if things get last minute cancelled or such after they are confirmed (like the text I got from my dentist yesterday saying they were running late and to come 15 mins later...5 mins before my appointment when I'm walking through the door. Not helpful.) I get neg brownie points because The Rehearsal is on my TBW list. I'll keep an eye out for the smoke detector one, Maddie. ❤ xo
Your idea of “looking ahead without planning too far ahead” is *such* a great approach—one that I think I’ll add to my own toolkit.
I’m just wrapping up a travel weekend myself, so I’m especially enjoying your thoughts on (not) overplanning your vacations. And go figure: this particular go-by-the-flow trip was one of the best in recent memory!
Okay, time for your hot takes! 🔥
✳️ In your experience, when does planning feel freeing? When does it cross the line and become limiting?
✳️ Have you ever used spiral-bound planners/bullet journals, and what’s your relationship to them now? I used a Get To Work Book (RIP!) for years, on and (mostly) off, but wasn’t motivated enough to use, like, washi tape or adorable stickers in it.
✳️ Brownie points for Nathan For You fans who share their favorite episode. (Mine is, obviously, the smoke detector one.)
I am definitely part of the Overplanner Industrial Complex.
I embody the paradox - I am always planning, which is futile because nothing ever goes to plan. (I think this is the definition of insanity.) What works for me is to make plans, but revisit them frequently. This way, I can make adjustments as necessary. I treat my plans as outlines of where I want to go rather than detailed blueprints. That seems to work. Although my default is to plan to a T.
Outlines rather than blueprints—yes! I adore this idea.
Your “definition of insanity” comment did make me laugh, but in your defense: the act of revisiting your plans frequently is, in effect, keeping the timeline of your plans short enough for them to be meaningful. Consider your approach fully endorsed! ✅
"It’s a tactic best deployed under specific conditions. It shouldn’t be a mindset, a lifestyle, or a personality trait." Yes!
I like loose planning which leaves room for me to change my mind and for life to life. Things happen out of our control, things feel differently than we anticipated, people die, relationships change or break off completely. We change. I've found people who get too attached to plans have a much harder time with life and living.
Loose planning gives me a bit of security AND the room for other possibilities to enter. I've never been into stringent planning. Not in life, work and especially not whilst I'm on holiday.
There are times when definitive plans are important like getting married with my partner, where I want to go in my career, etc. I think intention is more important to me than having a "plan". I ask myself, "What are my intentions going down this road, making this particular choice?" My answers to that question gets me VERY clear on what I want and where I will go from there.
Jenovia, thank you for this thoughtful comment!
I love your use of intentions and introspection when it comes to the kinds of all-important, values-aligned decisions you don’t want to leave entirely to chance.
After spending too many years in the “attachment to plans” camp, I learned exactly what you wrote here: it’s kind of miserable. It’s kind of like your Past Self making decisions for your Present Self without crucial pieces of information. “Loose planning” allows for the introduction of all kinds of new information...such a humane approach!
Life beat me up into “loose planning” submission 😭😂 (as it often does.)
Absolutely! Different losses bring different experiences of trauma and grief but (yes, hopefully 😜) similar reflection and growth.
I know our circumstances are very different—and yet this is *very* relatable. 🙈
The roughhousing may look a little different but it all hurts/pushes us into greater awareness (hopefully lol ) 💕
I like to look ahead, but not plan too far ahead. Have an idea of what to do, but stay flexible. I warn friends when we travel together that I'm not someone who enjoys a "schedule" on my vacations (sure, we'll need to book a few things, but not all day every day, FFS!). And my to-do list is about as bullet-pointy as I get. But, I follow my schedule, keep my appointments and I'm on time, so I'm totally annoyed if things get last minute cancelled or such after they are confirmed (like the text I got from my dentist yesterday saying they were running late and to come 15 mins later...5 mins before my appointment when I'm walking through the door. Not helpful.) I get neg brownie points because The Rehearsal is on my TBW list. I'll keep an eye out for the smoke detector one, Maddie. ❤ xo
Sandra, you get all the brownie points!
Your idea of “looking ahead without planning too far ahead” is *such* a great approach—one that I think I’ll add to my own toolkit.
I’m just wrapping up a travel weekend myself, so I’m especially enjoying your thoughts on (not) overplanning your vacations. And go figure: this particular go-by-the-flow trip was one of the best in recent memory!