Love this, Maddie. What I've learned about money is that someone getting it doesn't take any away from me (except when paying taxes, which I really don't mind because I like to be around educated people and not hit potholes). Someone made a comparison about people getting more rights doesn't take away other rights because, "It's not pie." Which needs to be put immediately on a t-shirt. When someone succeeds, it makes the path easier for others. When mistakes are made, it's a chance to learn. I'm 54 and only started an IRA 3 years ago (almost 4). I only started my first 401k at the end of last year. I am so far behind where I "should" be, and so what? No plan of mine hasn't gone up in flames at some point. It lights the way and keeps me warm. xo
Yes to "It's not pie" (although that would be incredibly tasty)—there's more than enough to go around! Your outlook on other people's success and our own mistakes are equally wise. We waste so much energy torturing ourselves over the "shoulds" when that energy would be much better spent moving forward, slowly but consistently.
I'm still in awe of the last two sentences in your comment...those are equally T-shirt worthy. 🔥
Claire, you're so kind—thank you! It's really helpful to hear that this type of sharing will be interesting to others. As I start publishing these pieces, keep the feedback coming!
Money is one of those topics I am interested in learning more about but as soon as I hear someone else's situation, I immediately play the comparison game, even though I am happy with where I'm at. It's so helpful to remember that these are apples and oranges comparisons!
Do I need to remind you that you just wrote an incredibly helpful piece about comparison last month? 😂
In all seriousness, though, I really appreciate your honesty. It will help me even *more* thoughtfully consider my intent and impact as I cover this topic!
Oct 3, 2023·edited Oct 3, 2023Liked by Maddie Burton
I don't think you could have said it better when you said "comparison game."
It's such a double-edged sword in that we should learn from others who have figured it out, but boy, we have to keep expectations in line.
I have two young daughters, am a small business owner, and spouse is a teacher...so, when I listen to podcasts about a young couple who have already reached financial independence, I need to be sure that I am not comparing apples to oranges (i.e. the couple may both be in tech jobs/engineers, no kids, college was paid for, etc etc).
I so appreciate you sharing these thoughts, because I think almost all of us can relate! "Keeping expectations in line" is a muscle that takes a long time to grow—and a skill that we probably never master completely.
Instead, I've found it helpful to think about tradeoffs. Every choice we make, every road not taken, has a set of tradeoffs attached. No choice is all pros, zero cons, so it becomes more about the set of tradeoffs we choose to live with—and the level of agency we feel in making that choice.
I wish there were an easier way to achieve the clarity that comes from life's hardest experiences...but I certainly haven't found one yet.
I really appreciate hearing how adversity caused you to reprioritize—and reconsider where money fell on that priority list. It’s a topic I want to write more in depth about myself!
Love this, Maddie. What I've learned about money is that someone getting it doesn't take any away from me (except when paying taxes, which I really don't mind because I like to be around educated people and not hit potholes). Someone made a comparison about people getting more rights doesn't take away other rights because, "It's not pie." Which needs to be put immediately on a t-shirt. When someone succeeds, it makes the path easier for others. When mistakes are made, it's a chance to learn. I'm 54 and only started an IRA 3 years ago (almost 4). I only started my first 401k at the end of last year. I am so far behind where I "should" be, and so what? No plan of mine hasn't gone up in flames at some point. It lights the way and keeps me warm. xo
Yes to "It's not pie" (although that would be incredibly tasty)—there's more than enough to go around! Your outlook on other people's success and our own mistakes are equally wise. We waste so much energy torturing ourselves over the "shoulds" when that energy would be much better spent moving forward, slowly but consistently.
I'm still in awe of the last two sentences in your comment...those are equally T-shirt worthy. 🔥
Thank you for writing this and being open to sharing this part of your story. Also, what a gorgeous photo of Cascade Pass!
Claire, you're so kind—thank you! It's really helpful to hear that this type of sharing will be interesting to others. As I start publishing these pieces, keep the feedback coming!
Money is one of those topics I am interested in learning more about but as soon as I hear someone else's situation, I immediately play the comparison game, even though I am happy with where I'm at. It's so helpful to remember that these are apples and oranges comparisons!
Do I need to remind you that you just wrote an incredibly helpful piece about comparison last month? 😂
In all seriousness, though, I really appreciate your honesty. It will help me even *more* thoughtfully consider my intent and impact as I cover this topic!
I knew it sounded familiar :)
Spot on...ditto!
I don't think you could have said it better when you said "comparison game."
It's such a double-edged sword in that we should learn from others who have figured it out, but boy, we have to keep expectations in line.
I have two young daughters, am a small business owner, and spouse is a teacher...so, when I listen to podcasts about a young couple who have already reached financial independence, I need to be sure that I am not comparing apples to oranges (i.e. the couple may both be in tech jobs/engineers, no kids, college was paid for, etc etc).
But, not easy for my type A brain! Thanks Maddie!
I so appreciate you sharing these thoughts, because I think almost all of us can relate! "Keeping expectations in line" is a muscle that takes a long time to grow—and a skill that we probably never master completely.
Instead, I've found it helpful to think about tradeoffs. Every choice we make, every road not taken, has a set of tradeoffs attached. No choice is all pros, zero cons, so it becomes more about the set of tradeoffs we choose to live with—and the level of agency we feel in making that choice.
Love the inclusion of your film photography! And that you’re doing to talk about the twists and turns of your money story over time.
I so appreciate hearing that, Jamie! Definitely gives me the necessary confidence boost I'll need to start actually putting the words on "paper." 🤗
I wish there were an easier way to achieve the clarity that comes from life's hardest experiences...but I certainly haven't found one yet.
I really appreciate hearing how adversity caused you to reprioritize—and reconsider where money fell on that priority list. It’s a topic I want to write more in depth about myself!